There are landlords (ladies) and lodgers. Some would prefer to be called tenants because it sounds sophisticated. But it’s the same thing, that is, someone who pays rent to live on someone else’s property. Not everyone chooses to be a tenant and no one wishes to be one forever. But due to circumstances beyond their control, some people find themselves in this untenable position, to excuse the pun.
What is wrong in being a lodger…eh…tenant? On the surface, nothing, but to the landlord there seems to be something definitely wrong. It has something to do with one being in the over-class or the underclass where the latter is made to feel really downtrodden, to borrow revolutionary phraseology.
Take the term ‘Lord’ which means “a man who rules over people.” From the experience of some poor souls who have had to endure the excesses of being at the mercy of property owners who think they are gods, one wonders whether its really worth going through the ordeal.
A friend decided to move out of the ghetto to conform to his newfound status that afforded him a more spacious abode in one of the leafy eastern suburbs. The family’s landlady, if we may call her that, owned two houses next to each other, one of which she decided to rent out, a classic Diaspora success story.
The first problem, which initially did not seem obvious, was the fact hat my friend had a car which the landlady, for some inexplicable reason, did not possess. One morning he was told that he revved up his car too loudly in the mornings. This he took to be a reasonable complaint. Then he was told his car, Willowville Mazda 323, was “too heavy” for the driveway. Next thing he was asked if he could possibly leave it at work!
That was just the beginning. He was to endure surprise inspections for which his brave wife bore the brunt. The landlady would animatedly harangue the wife or maid, (depending on who was home at the time) about the way the family ‘depreciated’ the value of her property. The besieged family’s sins included hanging too much laundry outside, “crowding” the house with furniture and entertaining too many visitors.
The crunch came when my unsuspecting friend acquired a satellite dish. He received a strongly-worded letter asking who he thought he was causing such a major defect on her outside wall without consulting the landlady? Initially, he thought this to be a joke. Not until he came home one evening to find the offending gadget removed and grounded in the garage.
Why? You guessed right. How dare a tenant enjoy the sophistication of watching several television channels when the lord of the manor had none? My friend’s tenancy lasted two action- packed months. Apart from giving him enough tales to entertain his workmates for years, he says it tested the limits of his tolerance. He says all being things being equal, he could have strangled the lady the very week he moved in.
Have you had a ‘Landlord Experience’ you would love to share? Like the one where a house owner attempted to impose some rudimentary from of population control by telling his tenants that he would be “very happy if they kept the size of their family within reasonable limits.” Tenants (read lodgers) in the Western Suburbs have to endure the misdemeanours of their landlords, like having their property attached. Or which tenant will turn down the amorous advances of the landlord or lady if there was the threat that you could find your expensive property exposed to the elements at the drop of a…eh…hat? Let us share those juicy tales.
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