Women the world over will agree that they were created to bear the brunt of the fanatical excesses of men. When one is referring to the passion that accompanies the world’s most beautiful game, any full-bloodied male would find this accusation very incredulous indeed, especially when it’s another man who is laying it on the line. Let us wait until the World Cup in Germany is over, and then you will understand what I am trying to say.
Its because that’s only when a negligible minority would have realised that women would have had to go through many long and lonely nights as their mates sit transfixed in front of the television set. And that includes absentee husbands glued to the big screen at the pub. Count the “Christian” better half among this breed. After all what’s wrong with being in a pub when does not take a single drop of alcohol? In fact what better excuse is there besides the World Cup?
“Honey, I was at the pub.”
“Evangelising the sinners, my dear husband?”
“Well sort of. I dropped a few verses and advised them not to swear too much when Ronaldinho misses.”
“What about the beer?”
“At least they poured their pints over me instead of drinking them. Alleluiah!”
It takes a degree in psychology to understand man’s fixation with football. There is no greater crime than not showing interest in the sport. It’s as if it were eminently normal to like it. Is it truly sensible to spend huge amounts of one’s essential rather short life watching 22 grown ups kicking a spherical object around a piece of turf? What other human activity allows people to lose their heads without the fear of them being carted off to a mental institution? And we are just talking about celebrating a goal here, kuphela! Even football mad bosses are expected to turn a blind eye to bleary eyed workers stumbling in several hours late at work.
Let’s call it World Cup Fever. A disease that leaves a trail of destruction in homes as football widows multiply. Are there any solutions for the millions of long suffering women who will be tearing their hair out in frustration? All because of that ludicrous month-long sporting event taking place in Germany?
Most attempts at recreating the pub/club environment at home have failed to keep men within those four walls. Women are known then to have invested in digital satellite systems or even gone on to declare an amnesty by allowing their husbands to bring their noisy and annoying friends along the games. Others have employed to good effect the adage that face powder might catch a man but it’s the baking powder that keeps him.
For those who go the extra mile, it’s hard enough for them to understand the rules of the game. It’s even worse to pretend you like it. Like the poor woman who decided to accompany her hubby to the first soccer match in her whole life. After what was a thrilling match (for the husband of course) he asked his wife how it felt like.
“Well, alright I guess. But I really felt pity for the guy in black. He ran so hard through out the game and yet they never passed the ball to him even once!”
She was referring to the referee! Enjoy the World Cup guys, while you can.
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