No instruction manual for parenting

Last Sunday was Father’s Day and I thought about reflecting on the occupation called parenthood. A word of warning to those reckless characters that are intent on sowing their wild oats and becoming a parent; there is no instruction manual. You have to learn on the job. The worse thing is the fact that your own childhood is of little preparation to bringing up today’s generation. This makes things a bit trickier.

Wanting to be the good and caring father the other day, I decided to phone home and chat to the boys who were home back from school. As usual, our effervescent last born son Anele (8 years) picked up the phone. Stumped for what to say next I proceeded to ask him what I later discovered to be the most stupid question in living memory. The conversation went something like this:

“Yes Anele!”
“Hie, Dad!”
“How’s my son today?”
“I’m fine!”
“What did you do at school today?”
“Learn. Isn’t that what we are supposed to do at school, Dad?”
“Well, duh!”

I am convinced that after that conversation, my son has begun doubting my sanity.

For one, today’s children seem to mature faster, know more and are wont to claiming whatever rights are due to them. Even the stuff they play with as toys are high tech gizmos that will take a degree in electronics to master. Ever tried tackling Play station? If you suffer from technophobia, just forget it and stick to draughts. During our time the ultimate toy was the half brick which accompanied by the necessary grunts, squeals and shrieks was our sports car. We would drag it for hours on end, never mind the disastrous landscaping that we perpetrated. The full brick, by the way, represented a typical bus.

Whatever happened to the plastic World Cup? Today’ children either play with the real thing or are staging the World Wrestling Federation in their bedroom. No matter how many times they are warned, “Never to try this at home,’ be sure that they are body slamming, clothes lining and one-two-threeing on your very expensive furniture while you are at work.

If you thought that your maid can control them then you are in for a shock. They are capable of blackmailing and even terrorising the domestic. Ever wondered why they don’t last. It might not be because of the motor-mouth wife but try interrogating the little imps. You will be very surprised. During our time our parents hired maids straight from the Gestapo. They were very effective in mental and physical torture and better still, they knew how to put us in our proper place.

Today we know for a fact that the only reason why parents employ minders is to prevent their children from razing the house to the ground. It goes to show that parenting is something which parents would rather have someone else do the dirty work for them. Meaning that when next you are tempted to manufacture babies, just re read this article.