I struggle to find the words to describe what is to become this year’s Christmas. Bleak, black, bland or just simply plain? Time there was when it was the time to holler, open presents and generally party until the break of dawn. It was the time to travel to the rural areas to flash around those dollars and bring cheer to the back of beyond. It was an experience they would not stop bragging about until the following year.
As I write this piece, I face one of my greatest challenges ever. Such that Christmas will just be another day as I contemplate my fate and future. The fact that all is in God’s hands is the only comfort. Perhaps I will witness to you all when all this is over, or is it just he beginning?
In the meantime, we get the therapy that we are now all used to; to laugh at ourselves, in the vain hope that we will dismiss all of this as one sick joke. But in spite of everything, there are things that will never change. The churches will be filled to the brim with believers and non believers alike, hoping to receive the special blessings that the day holds. Or better still to display plumage so specially acquired for the festive season.
Siwela will, as always, lug his 3 speed cycle onto Pelandaba bus for the long journey to see family and relatives in Kezi. He would have saved enough groceries through the club at work to take home goodies such as rice, cooking oil, bathing and washing soap, sugar. That is not to forget a ‘straight’ of Viceroy for abadala and Skippers for iziporori. Omama will not mind Mazoe or any such like imitation. The local stores will have to supply bread and buns along with iLotion to take care of the post Christmas bhabhalazi.
In the city, Sibanda will save the best for the last. Opting to wait to be invited by better endowed relatives or friends who would have found instant wealth through some benevolent relative eDiapora endaminya. The rand would still have a semblance of value come Christmas Day, but not so after New Year. Sibanda will wait to savour the sweat of his labour, by having Mrs Sibanda cook rice and chicken with salad, with plenty to drink. And the good old Philips blaring out the latest UMaqondana with the speaker perched outside for all to hear.
The young ones will be out in full force, because this is indeed their day. They we be resplendent in the usual and unusual paraphernalia. While their parents ponder about next year’s school fees, all forms of blackmail and subterfuge would have exacted all manner of trinkets and dollies. Christmas is not Christmas without presents isn’t it? The bank might be broken, but there are things that are not for negotiation.
As I write this, we are preparing for our annual binge here at WORK. It means two things, there is lots of money to throw around that the bosses don’t care to admit (come January) and, we still have enough energy to pretend that things are just the way they were last year and the years before that. As a parting shot, our administration released this festive season memo. If you toil like a drone at my place of work and you missed it, then it means you don’t matter.
Anyway, here goes…and it always has to start with any apology:
Sorry for the delay...our Lawyers just approved the following Holiday Greeting:
To: All Employees
From: The Administration
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the Christmas holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all . . . and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition
of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the many cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Zimbabwe great, (not to imply that Zimbabwe is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only country in sub-Saharan Africa or the world for that matter), and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or soccer club of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him self or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
A merry Christmas everyone, and a thoroughly different and optimistically wonderful 2006 to you all. Peace!
Glossary
Iziporori - Hangers on
Abadala - The elders
Omama - Mothers
iLotion - a popular Sorghum beer presented in cream containers
Ibhabhalazi - Hangover
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