The mouse comes out to play

The woman of the house (read, W-I-F-E) has gone on a ‘business trip’ Down-Under. That is far enough for this mouse to come out to play and write things that would get him in very hot soup. The fact that this column is public record and is printed in indelible ink, I would strongly advise all men out there to pray for one of their own the day SHE sets her eyes on what I am about to write. In fact, a phenomenon known as Tell-A-Woman will ensure that the Mrs gets an uncensored version of this article in Real Time. Which means by the time I finish writing this, the offended party would rather swim the shark infested Indian Ocean to box me round the ears. Kungasenani, here goes:

Those of you who are computer literate will enjoy this one; the IT (Information Technology) derived descriptions of a woman. We have the Hard-Disk Woman: She remembers everything, FOREVER. RAM Woman: She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off. WINDOWS Woman: Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her. EXCEL Woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs. Screensaver Woman: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun! Internet Woman: Difficult to access. Server Woman: Always busy when you need her. Multimedia Woman: She makes horrible things look beautiful. CD-ROM Woman: She is always faster and faster. E-mail Woman: Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense. And finally, the Virus Woman: Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything......

Just thinking out loud; perhaps it’s time to review the life of a married man. Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. Actually, should the truth be known, there are a lot of good ways to "handle" a woman. Unfortunately, not a man alive knows any of them. And if he did, he'd be wise not to try. Personally I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and Father, I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention. Did any of you other married guys out there ever wonder whether it's better to have loved and lost, than to have loved and won?

But again, men do not come out winners in the battle of the sexes. Take this story as an example. A man feared that his wife wasn't hearing as good as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

"Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 20 metres away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 15 metres, then 10 metres, and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he on the veranda.
He says to himself, "I'm about 20 metres away, let's see what happens."Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?" Noresponse. So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 15 metres from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 10 metres from his wife and asks, “Honey, what's for dinner?" Again he gets no response, so he walks up to the kitchen door, about 5 metres away."Honey, what’s for dinner?" Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?""James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

The moral of the story is that the problem may not be with the other one as we always think, it be could be very much within us! Confront yourself before blaming the other. Just like the dilemma of who’s impotent between the two.